Recently I was talking to several couples with children where both partners are working. Most of the men said things like: “I’m totally into gender equality. I help and support her as much as I can, but she‘s never satisfied.”
While the women were going crazy saying things like: “All responsibility is on me. If I don’t control everything, things will go totally wrong.” So why these different perceptions?
I think the core of the problem is that: to help and to support someone sounds pretty nice but in fact it includes the idea that the other one is responsible for the whole of it and just needs some help.
While this is just supporting the same old idea of women being responsible for the wellbeing of the family. And most women take this responsibility just as if it was normal. That makes that they constantly feel going crazy by the overload of daily tasks and a strong need to ask for help where there should be no help but real shared responsibility. Because the one helping is always the generous one while the other one should be thankful.
Doesn’t that sound weird in a true partnership?